Many of us assume relationships will flourish on their own, but deep connections rarely happen by chance. This article explores how intentional scheduling can transform your ministry’s relationships and lead to meaningful impact.
There’s a common misconception that the best relationships happen organically, that if we truly care about people, time together will just happen. Despite good intentions, the many “We should get coffee soon” moments that never actually happen suggest otherwise. Especially in ministry, this can be tricky because we assume our calendar will naturally fill with relational time, but it often gets overly full before we’ve realized what happened. Deep, meaningful connections require intentional effort, and often, that effort starts with stewarding our time.
Stewarding Our Time Through Scheduling It
Time is a precious resource that we can’t create more of, and how we spend it reveals our true values. If we claim that relationships matter most but pack our calendars with meetings, deadlines, and tasks, we ultimately show that other priorities have taken precedence. Ministry is full of worthy demands, but not all are equally important. Without intentionality, we can become perpetually busy yet rarely present, rushing from one obligation to the next, without ever pausing to truly connect with the people we most want to minister to.
By thoughtfully considering how we allocate our time, we can ensure that our schedules align with the mission that brought us to ministry in the first place. This can look many ways, but here are two quick ideas:
- Create recurring blocks of time protected for connecting with people. Maybe it is Tuesday lunches or Sunday afternoon backyard hangs. You have slots that are protected on your calendar, and you can invite people into those spaces as they come to mind. You might even make an effort to fill your Tuesday lunches a month in advance! You have time set aside, and regular practice to fill that time with the people you want to grow in relationship with.
- You can also create a list of people you want to spend time with and consider how often to be with each of them. Then take (scheduled) time every week to review that list and cadence and see if it’s time to schedule that next chat, coffee, lunch, or even just a note to say hey. Even if it has to be scheduled for a few weeks or months out, having the reviewable list helps you make sure that the people you desire to spend time with don't slip by.
Scheduling Doesn’t Rob Meaning, It Bestows It.
Right now, you may find yourself resisting the idea of scheduling time for relationships, as if putting something on the calendar makes it less meaningful. But the truth is, planning is one of the strongest ways to show that a relationship matters. When we set aside time for someone, it’s not because we see them as a task; it’s because we refuse to let busyness steal what’s most important: moments of real connection.
Another example of this can be seen in our personal faith walks. Scheduling time for scripture, prayer, and other spiritual disciplines does not devalue them because they were planned. It is often strengthened by it. Regular, scheduled time with Jesus keeps our faith journey a priority and helps us live in a way that truly abides in Christ, bearing fruit (John 15:4). If we know this to be true in our spiritual journeys, why not in our relationships and ministry? As we abide and share our whole selves with Christ, we become intentional about sharing our whole lives with others. Paul’s words to the Thessalonians illustrate this beautifully: “We were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our very lives as well” (1 Thessalonians 2:8). Relationships flourish when we prioritize them, allowing us to genuinely share our lives with those we care for and serve.
Jesus also modeled intentionality in relationships by making time for people, not just in passing but with a clear purpose. Just as He withdrew to pray (Mark 1:35), He also planned and shared meals with those on society’s margins (Luke 19:1-10) and invested deeply in a small group of disciples, walking with them daily. Jesus lived with a rhythm of both spontaneity and structure, ensuring that relationships weren’t an afterthought. This way of being provides a model for how modern ministry leaders can prioritize people and meaningful interaction.
Building Connection, One Scheduled Moment at a Time
Left to chance, relationships often get sidelined by urgency. There will always be another email, another task, or another meeting. But if we want to build a life of meaningful connection, we must be deliberate about making space for it. This doesn’t mean overloading every moment. It means refusing to let busyness rob us of what matters most.
So, make a plan. Set the time. Put people on your calendar to truly be with them, not because they’re a task to complete but because they matter. Real connection doesn’t just happen. It’s often built one scheduled moment at a time.
7df79e0c-1de5-4e98-a9f4-3c774ec9e51a.tmb-hero-xl.jpg?sfvrsn=580fd277_1)
